Why Your Elevator Pitch Is Too Long (And How to Fix It)
The moment I realized my pitch was terrible… was also the moment everything changed. Here’s the simple fix that made networking feel human again.
The moment I realized my pitch was… terrible
A few weeks ago, I met someone at a tech event who asked me the classic:
“So, what do you do?”
Simple question. Should be simple answer.
Instead, I somehow launched into a full-season Netflix recap of my professional life.
I explained:
what I currently do
what I used to do
the tools I use
my entire roadmap
and a brief inspirational story about my career
By the time I finished, the poor guy was nodding like a buffering Zoom call.
That’s when it hit me:
👉 Most of us talk way too much when someone asks what we do.
And it’s not helping us.
Your pitch shouldn’t feel like a TED Talk. ❌
It should feel like an introduction a normal human would say in an elevator.
So let’s fix that.
Why Long Pitches Fail (Even If You Mean Well)
1. People forget 90% of what you said
Attention spans are brutal.
If your pitch is a paragraph long… nobody is retaining it.
2. It sounds like you’re trying too hard
Networking should feel like a conversation, not a job interview.
If this hits home, you’ll probably relate to the part about why most networking advice is useless.
3. Long = Unclear
When you can’t explain what you do simply…
it usually means you’re not fully clear on it either.
The 10-Second Pitch Framework
Here’s the sentence that fixes it:
“I help ___ do ___ through ___.”
That’s it.
Clean. Direct. Memorable.
Now here’s the part you asked for 👇
The different versions for different types of people.
Examples Based on Who You Are
1️⃣ For Founders
❌ Long, messy version:
“We’re building an AI-driven workflow platform that streamlines operations for mid-market teams using predictive models and integrations and we’re currently raising—”
✅ 10-second version:
“We help small teams automate their workflow so they save hours every week.”
or
“We’re building the Zapier for healthcare teams.”
Founders, remember:
If someone needs a diagram to understand your pitch… it’s not a pitch.
This becomes even more obvious when you look at the right and wrong way to pitch investors - shorter always wins.
2️⃣ For Job Seekers (PMs, engineers, designers)
❌ Long, confusing version:
“I’ve worked in QA, then PM, but also data, and now looking for roles where I can apply strategy and my technical background to—”
✅ 10-second version:
“I’m a PM who’s launched multiple SaaS products, now looking for my next role on a fast-moving team.”
or
“I’m a data analyst who helps teams make smarter decisions through dashboards and insights.”
Job seekers:
Be clear enough that someone can help you instantly.
3️⃣ For Tech Professionals / Operators
❌ Long, chaotic version:
“I manage a mix of product, analytics, and workflow optimization across different departments and teams…”
✅ 10-second version:
“I help companies simplify their processes using product, data, and automation.”
or
“I solve operational bottlenecks for teams through product improvements.”
Clean. Easy. Repeatable.
And crucial for anyone who’s trying to avoid the mistakes many of us made at early networking events.
A Quick Story - How This Actually Helped Me
I once used a short pitch at a Startup+ event:
“I build product solutions that help healthcare teams move faster and make better decisions.”
The person immediately said:
“Oh, we need that. Can we talk?”
Twenty minutes later - real opportunity.
One sentence.
One moment.
One pitch that actually worked.
This is the kind of clarity you need when you’re mastering networking at events - short wins.
How to Fix Your Pitch (10-Minute Exercise)
Write your messy, too-long pitch on paper.
Highlight the ONE clear value you bring.
Put it into this formula:
“I help ___ do ___ through ___.”Practice until it feels natural — not robotic.
Clarity > complexity.
Always.
If this got you thinking about your own pitch, come test it out in the real world, at the next Startup+ event. 🎯
RSVP now, bring your 10-second pitch, and say hi if you see me there.
See you very soon,
Jaynish Shah
LinkedIn | www.jaynish.me
This is seriously gold. The "I help ___ do ___ through ___" formula is somthing I wish I had years ago cuz I used to ramble at networking events and could literally see peoples eyes glaze over. The insight about long pitches signaling lack of clarity rather than depth really hit me hard.