Why Most Networking Advice is Useless (And What Actually Works in NYC)
Most advice gets it wrong. Here’s how NYC’s smartest networkers turn events into opportunities.
Be honest: how many times have you walked into a “networking event” and thought, “Wow, this feels like speed dating with business cards.”
You know the drill:
Someone shakes your hand like they’re arm-wrestling you.
They launch into a 3-minute elevator pitch that sounds like it was written by ChatGPT.
You nod politely, swap LinkedIns, and forget each other by tomorrow morning.
Here’s the problem: most networking advice teaches you how to collect contacts, not meaningful connections.
In New York, where everyone’s building, hustling, and pitching you don’t need more conversations. You need the right ones. And the standard playbook (perfect pitches, working the room, card collecting) just doesn’t cut it.
If you want a detailed breakdown of how to master networking at events, the strategies we’ve developed at Startup+ show why some approaches fail and others stick.
❌ What Doesn’t Work
1. Collecting Business Cards Like Pokémon Cards
A pile of 200 business cards might look impressive, but it’s meaningless if nobody remembers your name or what you do. The key is building real rapport, not just contact lists. (This ties closely to lessons many founders reflect on after large tech events.)
Business Cards ≠ Your Connections
2. Over-Rehearsed Elevator Pitches
If your pitch could survive a Buzzfeed quiz, it’s too rehearsed. People smell a script from a mile away. Authenticity beats perfection. There’s even advice on the right and wrong way to pitch investors that highlights how rigid scripts often backfire.
Perfect Pitch ≠ Authenticity
3. Networking as a Transaction
Walking into a room thinking, “I need funding, you’re an investor” turns genuine conversations into a scoreboard. Nobody responds well to that energy. Instead, think in terms of building relationships first—a principle echoed by founders who later regret missing casual interactions at major tech events.
Networking ≠ A Scoreboard
✅ What Actually Works
1. Curiosity Over Pitching
Instead of leading with your product or idea, start by asking questions:
“What’s the most exciting project you’re working on?”
“What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?”
“How did you get into this space?”
Curiosity builds bridges and opens doors far more effectively than rehearsed intros. Many founders note that curiosity-driven conversations were game-changers at NYC events.
2. Build Before You Ask
Don’t jump straight into, “Can I pitch you?” Share insights, discuss trends, or reference something the other person has done. Showing that you’re thoughtful often prompts investors or potential co-founders to ask about your work themselves.
3. Context Over Cold
NYC is huge, but tech circles feel surprisingly small. Anchoring conversations in context works wonders:
“I read your post on founder fundraising—it really resonated with me.”
“We have a mutual friend who suggested I meet you.”
Even subtle awareness of someone’s work or history can make the difference between a memorable interaction and a forgettable one. This is the kind of context you’ll see emphasized in lessons on networking from major startup weeks.
4. Play the Long Game
Your first conversation rarely leads to an immediate deal or partnership. Think of networking as planting seeds. Follow up, nurture the relationship, and revisit it over time. NYC’s fast pace doesn’t mean relationships need to be rushed.
5. Authenticity Wins
It’s okay to admit:
“I’m still figuring this out.”
“We just pivoted, so I’m exploring options.”
Honesty signals confidence. People remember authenticity, and this often comes up in stories shared by founders about regrets from past tech events—missing the chance to be themselves.
🌟 Key Takeaways
Be curious, not transactional.
Build relationships before pitching.
Lead with context.
Play long-term.
Be authentic.
Networking isn’t about speed—it’s about meaningful collisions. When done right, you leave with more than cards. You leave with collaborators, mentors, and sometimes, lifelong friends.
🚀 Take It Further
At Startup+, we don’t just host events. We build a community of founders, investors, and builders who value real connections. By joining, you get:
Access to NYC’s best startup mixers.
Insights and lessons from founders’ own mistakes, like those shared after NY Tech Week.
Guidance on avoiding common pitfalls like ineffective introductions or awkward pitches.
Engaging with a community that emphasizes real connections and smart networking strategies is how you turn casual events into career-defining opportunities.
Because the best connections happen when you show up, stay curious, and apply proven strategies instead of blindly following generic networking advice. Let’s make NYC networking actually work for you.
If you want to chat, swap ideas, or just say hi: connect with me on LinkedIn or shoot me an email at jaynish.shah@startupplus.club.
Cheers,
Jaynish Shah, Community Lead
Startup+
www.startupplus.club